PLYMOUTH
SCHOOL SYSTEM
ELECTS NEW
SUPERINTENDANT

A FEATURE STORY

by David Micloskey

Plymouth elected Elvin Q. Winter to head its school system for ther '68-'70 season. Winter recieved a degree in psychology from Antioch, and has completed exceptional graduate work at Reed, Oxford, Berkeley, Vassar, Yale, and Cambridge, and has lectured at innumerable campuses.

Winter was shocked upon hearing that Terryville still had such outmoded courses as gym, dress codes, detention, sports, student council, cheerleaders, majorettes, etc.

"There is much to be done," he snarled at the reporters, as he occasionally went into the crowd to beat up bystanders at random.

After posing for obscene photographs to be put in the school newspaper and yearbook, Elvin started playing with the school's intercom system, screaming obscenities into each and every room.

Winter is expected to make widespread faculty changes as soon as possible. "We gotta get some freaks in here or I'll go snake," he growled.

Winter has drawn up an interesting assembly program for next fall, with guests similar to those at the Monterey Pop and upcoming Newport Jazz Festivals. Worm wishes Dr. Winter good luck in his new office and in the town of Terryville.

©1969 DAVID MICLOSKEY

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UPDATED: MAR 2007